Slow Dance
How funny would it look to see two people dancing…one is doing the slow dance and the other one is doing the jig!
Dancing the slow dance…the beauty, the artistic expression, the sways and swoons of face-to-face dancing…nobody is in a hurry, there’s not another care in the world. Every part of the outside world dims and fades into a blur and just doesn’t matter any more. The only thing that matters is your partner. And you are lost in the gaze of love. (sigh! sweetness! sigh!)
This has been one of the greatest life-long challenges I have faced. To enjoy the slow dance. I was born to move. My first memories are feeling the satisfaction of people laughing at me and loving my presence. I was born to enjoy laughing and getting stuff done. I recently found a letter that I wrote at age four, before anyone had taught me to read or print, I taught myself. It was all printed phonetically, but the point is definitely clear as day:
“Dear Grandpa and Grandma, How are you? I’m busy”.
How is a four-year-old busy? Every fiber of my being loves to go at full speed from morning to evening. Making quick decisions, working hard and fast and loving laughing along the way. That about sums it up. I was congratulated and celebrated during school years as I met my deadlines, owned a detailed planner by the time I was in fifth grade, and always got stuff done. I am really good at dancing the jitter-bug…let’s go deeper, I’m just not good at it – I love it! “We’s got to move it move it!”
A business associate called last week, and said, “Hi, is this the energizer-Meisner?” Yes!
I love that Bob and I are so different. He likes to ponder and think before he make decisions or even talks! Thoroughness, wisdom are his friends, and he refuses to be driven by a deadline. So what’s the moral of this story? I don’t naturally “do” the slow dance. I do the jig. We have the potential to clash. Life, love and working together will not work well for us until we literally see each other as gifts. Bob is my present from heaven. I am his present from heaven. Our hope is that this turns on a light for you, but it will take more than just turning on a light to apply this to your relationship.
Like any other dysfunctional dance, the first step in stopping is identifying the fear behind it. Sure, there are personalities behind our expressions, but those never need to be squandered. In fact, that’s the lie behind some marriage beliefs. One person has to stop being like “themselves” and morph into the other so that together we can be “one”. You can have oneness without having sameness!
But you can’t have sameness and oneness when fear runs the dance.
Today is the day to see my spouse as a gift, and realize that we were never meant to be the same. I celebrate the gifts that I see in the person I married!
We are believing with you for a marriage that is full of dreaming together, being best friends, and loving life with God.
Love Audrey and Bob